Ignorance~

I never knew I can be so cool... Kinda like loss of passion... When I was on the phone talking to my friend, my another friend who heard our conversation said I sounded very cool, kind of expressionless...

When I see him, I go emotionless, I don't really want to talk to him, I kinda want to hate him... I ignore whatever he said, try to ignore whatever he do, try to ignore whatever eye contact... The more I ignore, the more hatred came in... Is hate one good way to get rid of someone? Ignorance can help? Or face it with bravery?

Why do i ignore at first? Is it that I was too afraid that everything will come right back, that I need to suffer again, and that's why I choose to ignore? Maybe the ignorance will help to reduce any unwanted thoughts and everything will be okay...

Cinderella 2~

Well, Cinderella and the prince live happily ever after... according to the fairy tale~ But I guess they forget to add in "to be continued"...

What happens after their marriage we never know, well, I kinda have a wild guess, let's me try to tell what happen after their marriage...

First, prince is too busy working and does not have much time for Cinderella... Poor thing Cinderella needs to wait for him to go home everyday, and carrying a pair of twins and clean the house everyday, like her same old life (well, no maids for her)...

He gets to work very early, and comes home very late, before she wakes up, he left, before he's back, she slept... Well, prince needs to work as well, fairy tale is not that fairy tale after all...

Second, the prince has a pretty servant that plays the role of his secretary, who helps him in his work, and takes care of him as well... The prince spent more time with the servant than with Cinderella, hence, he tends to come home really late, sometimes did not even come back...

Cinderella started to suspect, and she confronted the prince, prince admitted that he does not have feelings for Cinderella anymore, as she did not take good care of him or concern about him, but its the servant who's by his side all the time, hence, he filed for a divorce... Poor poor Cinderella needs to go back to her same old life with her stepmother and stepsister, and the only thing she is grateful of is having the pair of twins...

Poor poor Cinderella, being blamed for not spending enough time for him, is it her fault? Is it that she is not fulfilling her responsibilities? Or is it that reality is just cruel? Sorry to fairy tales, but it's not real, there's no happily ever after... Face the reality and live in it~

Emotions~

I have a diary at home, that I express my feelings, and things that happen in my life, that should be kept in memory. Reading my diary, there's a mixture of happy, sadness, and the most I can see, is my heart felt emotions in my relationships. Can I say I am a compassionate person? I don't know.

I have a mixture of feelings right now, and I think the best way to express it is writing. I am thinking a lot recently, that I no longer able to keep the feelings to myself. People like to keep their feelings, guys especially, but how come girls experience more depression? Is it because we girls cannot cope with it, even though we've express it? Or we experience higher intensity of emotions?

Love, both guys and girls experienced that... It feels sweet, that can put a smile to your face every time you think about him... When things go wrong, the intensity of it, is twice as much of the sweetness you feel... It's always harder to let go of love, than fall in love... If it is easy, I won't be here, doubting my feelings... I feel tired of thinking and thinking and with all the guessing... is it the feeling of love that I have, or feeling of regret? That I'm not satisfy with my own decision?

I try to reduce the feeling, but I cannot... I want to forget, but deep down, I know I don't want to forget, don"t want to let go, I'm still holding on...